Friday, June 02, 2006

Lost Verses of the Holy Q'uran: Part 6

Surah 124: The Defiled

Bismillah:Another fortnight passed, during which Muhammad and his devoted followers delighted in the vilest of debaucheries; the drunken Prophet leaving the bodies of several murdered Jewish boys in a dark annex of Sabri's house; their posteriors ruptured and throats slit by him. The Nubian siren Sheba watched from the shadows, shedding tears for the slaughtered children.

Oaf Abu Bakr, fulfilling the will of Allah, again came unto his daughter Ayesha, she having recovered from the Prophet's advances; a lecherous Muhammad occupied with knowing the remaining Jewish boys.
"Why is it that you know me, my father?" asked a satisfied Ayesha, sitting up on the bed after Abu had withdrawn from her and closed his robe.
"It is the will of Allah," answered the oaf, looking upon her nude body.
"Cover yourself from my sight child, have you no decency?"
"Do you not find me comely, or is the stiffness of your nether member only for my stepmother Fahimah?" asked Ayesha coyly, smiling and reclining before him.
"I do find you most comely, that is why you must cover yourself," Abu ordered, finding his incestuous lust for her troubling.
"Yes my father," replied an obedient Ayesha, pulling a sheet over herself.

Crossing the desert, the Muslim army left Medina and returned to the oasis to refresh themselves and rest among the palms, the inhabitants there vexed at the presence of the Holy Prophet. A defiant Mecca stood to the south, Muhammad knowing that with the help of Allah, the army of Islam would prevail over the infidels. Abu learned that his nephew Abdullah had committed suicide by climbing a tall date palm and hurling himself from it, his broken body buried in the desert by his grieving father and brothers.Troubled, he approached Muhammad and told him of his grief.
"Waste not time mourning over him oaf, it was the will of Allah," said Muhammad blithely with a wave of a hand, drunk in his tent, dining on a bowl of boiled dung beetles smothered in thick vulture gravy.The Nubian harlot Sheba looked to Abu in silence, sympathy in her eyes, recalling the Prophet's licentious pederasty, having watched from in the shadows as he murdered those who dared to cry out in pain at his advances.
"That, or he couldn't live with the idea of you having known him," replied a frowning Abu, staring at the floor of the tent, sadness on his countenance.
"My knowing of him was a gift: how dare you question the will of Allah or his messenger!" exclaimed Muhammad, finishing his meal of dung beetles, his filthy fingers covered in cold vulture gravy.
"I don't question the will of Allah, what I do question is the unrelenting stiffness of your nether member and your licentious pederasty, knowing little boys in his sight," retorted Abu.
"Are there not captive women in our camp that could satisfy your carnal urges?" "Perhaps there are, but none are as tight as the lovely orifice of a little Jewish boy," answered a smiling Muhammad.
"You are a hypocrite; you have repeatedly denied others of your inclination the ability to know them, stating that such actions are a sin in the eyes of Pig Allah," said Abu boldly, revolted at the thought of pederasty. Harlot Sheba silently wiped tears from her cheeks, she mourning for the young victims of Muhammad's insatiable homosexual depravity.
"Hypocrite, no, for Allah's revelations do not apply to me, nor do they to you," answered the Prophet with another smile, wiping hands on his filthy silk robe. "You, oaf, along with myself, have sanction from Allah to do whatever we wish."
"We do?"
"Yes," answered Muhammad, pausing to squeeze foul matter from a swollen boil on his forehead,
"It runs the gamut, from taking women in our beds, or lovely boys in our tents, or even to the knowing of pretty animals, indulging in their comely favors as it suits us."
"The favors of beasts!" exclaimed Abu, "I always thought you were a twisted bastard, but the likes of us knowing animals?"
"A camel can be most attractive if one drinks enough wine: just look at their pretty eyes," replied Muhammad, raising a bottle and drinking deeply from it. "Such is bestiality!" exclaimed Abu in utter revulsion.
"No oaf, it is love; for Allah is love, and his Prophet is love: I spread Allah's love by knowing those I desire; indulging in the favors of comely women, lovely boys, and pretty animals."
"You are a depraved raper of young boys and a perverted molester of lowly beasts!" retorted Abu, looking the drunken Prophet in the eyes.
"Be that as it may, it is the will of Allah," answered an uncaring Muhammad, growing visibly aroused at the thought of knowing pretty animals, a small, malnourished female camel with light brown eyes just outside his tent crossing his utterly deranged mind.Pulling open his filthy robe, he reached for his erection and began masturbating, the harlot turning away in disgust.
"Have you no respect or decency, even in the eyes of your wives and fellows?" asked Abu, turning his head and covering his eyes.
"You needn't look unless you desire to pleasure Allah's Prophet, such is the will of him should you find my organ enticing.
"I'm not queer, your offer is revolting!" exclaimed Abu, turning and heading from him.
"Very well, be gone with you, ugh, oaf," grunted Muhammad, reaching orgasm as he finished the sentence, spitting his seed upon the ground and his filthy silk robe.

Leaving the tent, Abu chanced upon another of the Prophet's followers, a dull-witted, nearly toothless man with a missing eye, known by his fellows as Sadi.
"Duh, where is the Prophet?" asked a staggering Sadi, he very drunk.
"He's playing with himself in his tent over a camel, do you want to watch?"spat a disgusted Abu, pushing him out of the way.
Sadi tumbled to the ground, watching Abu trudge off into the darkness.Returning to his tent, a troubled Abu told Fahimah of his terse words with Muhammad, and that the Holy Prophet was not only a pederaster, but also a vile practitioner of bestiality, knowing pretty animals in the sight of Allah.
"I told you he was little more than a depraved devil in man's guise," she replied, "Only such could lust for the loins of a beast. Muhammad is an evil madman desiring death for all who oppose him; you, husband, will come to blows with him, if not only to save your very life."
"Do we have any food?" asked Abu, not commenting on her wise words.
"Yes, with the help of your daughter and the Nubian harlot, I caught and baked several rats for us this afternoon."
"It beats viper flesh, bring some to me wife, with a full bottle," ordered a frowning Abu, hoping that drunkenness would ease his contemptuous feelings for the Holy Prophet.


Surah 125: Mecca

Bismillah:Having renewed their strength at the oasis, the vengeful warriors of Islam marched into the desert, heading south toward Mecca, killing any in their path that dared to resist. Along the way they recruited more converts: augmenting by several score a revolting cadre of amoral pirates, vicious brigands, twisted perverts, depraved pedophiles and lascivious sodomites, all hungry for glittering plunder, rivers of blood, and helpless victims. Muhammad and his entourage followed, a string of captive Jewish boys in chains, having been thoroughly sodomised, trudged along with them, some forced to carry the Holy Prophet in an ornate litter.

Fahimah and the Nubian siren Sheba, together with Muhammad's child wife Ayesha, were carried in another litter behind the Prophet.
"What are we to do about that insane monster in man's guise?" asked Sheba, her voice low in fear of the Prophet.
"Nothing harlot, we are but women, and haven't the strength to subdue such as him," whispered Fahimah, her belly showing she was with child, fearful the Jewish boys carrying them might hear and tell the evil Prophet of their words.
Oaf Abu, dismissing his utter disgust at the Holy Prophet's revolting pederasty and bestiality for the moment, conversed with Muhammad in their litter as they were carried across the desolate waste.
"You told the followers that great Allah dwells in heaven; who else dwells there with him in his abode on high?" asked Abu, wiping sweat from his brow.
"His brothers," answered the Prophet, drunk on strong wine. Covered in sweat, scratching at biting fleas in an armpit, he pulled his filthy, sweat stained silk turban from his head, revealing a head of lice ridden, matted hair drenched in perspiration. Frowning for a moment, he grunted, releasing foul gas from his posterior.
"What are their names?" asked a gagging Abu, pulling a curtain open for fresh air.Muhammad, his head reeling from drunkenness, making up the story as he went along, replied,
"Let's see, Allah, Holiest of all Pigs, rules the heavens and the earth, sitting on his golden and bejeweled throne. His younger brothers, Hogallah the fat, Swineallah the wise, Boarallah the cyclops, and Porkallah the whiskered stand at his side, singing his praises for eternity."
"You're telling me heaven is filled with pigs?"
"Yes," answered Muhammad plainly, his mind much too deranged to realise his utterances made no sense at all.
"If that is so, what use would they have for the likes of us or our worship, considering we are not pigs?" asked Abu, confused and doubtful of the words he was hearing.
"Upon our ascension to heaven, we too will become holy, purified Hogs, welcomed into paradise by Allah," declared Muhammad, crushing a flea between his fingernails.
"Once there, 72 devoted, eternally virgin Swinettes will tend our every desire, feeding us forever with ample morsels in golden troughs to sate our piggish gluttony. To slake our thirst, they will bring us welcome drink from rivers of wine, and will give us their comely favors upon demand."
"Oh," said Abu, wondering if reincarnation into a ravenous, depraved hog upon death was something worth looking forward to.

Later, the warriors of Islam came upon a laden caravan of peaceful merchants on a trade road, heading with their wares toward Mecca. Skulking behind sand dunes, Muhammad and his devoted followers watched, laying in wait as the caravan approached.
"What will we do?" asked Abu, looking to the deranged Prophet.
"Allah told me in a dream that we will take the caravan, kill the merchants who own it, and then use the caravan to enter Mecca and subdue the infidels," answered Muhammad, delighted at their stumbling upon easy victims in the middle of the desert.
"That should prove easy with the numbers we have," replied a smiling Abu, looking forward to glittering plunder and the favors of comely women.Without warning, scimitars in hand, the army of Islam burst from the dunes like locusts, vicious cutthroats and pirates slaughtering the merchants and taking their goods in the name of Pig Allah.
A young and comely water boy with green eyes, cringing in the corner of a wagon, was spared for the carnal pleasure of the lascivious Prophet, as were several dark-eyed maidens betrothed to men in Mecca. Abu Bakr, on orders of Muhammad, took their virtue, their betrothals annulled in the eyes of Allah as he knew them one by one.His lust satisfied, Abu handed the captives over to other trusted followers, who were then debauched by hundreds of lascivious brigands in the name of Islam. Their carnal needs sated; the warriors left the broken bodies in the wake of the caravan.Sitting behind the reins, Muhammad, henchman Abu at his side, headed to Mecca, followed by the vicious and depraved Muslim army.

Approaching the city on the following morning, vanguards were sent forth to the gates, they telling the Meccans that merchant Fateen had arrived with goods to sell.
"Good friend Fateen, welcome again to our city," said a smiling guard, unknowingly opening the gates for the vicious warriors of Islam. Many laden camels and wagons entered Mecca while the bulk of the Muslim army hid in the distance, the doomed inhabitants celebrating the arrival of the caravan. A Meccan elder of many years walked up to Muhammad and Abu, asking where the merchant was.
"Good Fateen, he was delayed and will arrive later," Muhammad answered, reaching for his oiled garrote.
"You look familiar friend," replied the elder, hiding his disgust at Muhammad’s slovenly appearance, clad in his filthy silk robe and turban; his beard matted and neck caked with dirt.
"Do I?" asked the evil Prophet, he and Abu stepping from the wagon. Followers hidden in other wagons reached for their weapons and prepared to strike.
"Yes," said the man.
"I should look familiar; but I am not your friend: I am your enemy Muhammad," retorted the Prophet as he pulled the garrote, terror filling the man's eyes. Abu Bakr moved quickly and punched the hapless elder in the face with all his strength, breaking his neck from the blow as Muhammad yelled,
"Attack my followers, attack and kill the infidels in the name of Allah!" Bloodthirsty saracens burst forth, sharp scimitars in hand, gleefully slicing off arms, legs, and heads of the stunned Meccans.
"Good work oaf," the Prophet declared, looking to the body of the vanquished elder as hordes of his devoted followers came though the open gates.

An orgy of death swept over Mecca as the Muslim army slaughtered and raped in the name of Allah. Stepping over the bodies of vanquished infidels, Muhammad made his way to the Kaaba, home of the gods. Standing on the roof, oaf Abu at his side, the smiling Prophet delighted at the unremitting carnage, watching as his devoted, bloodthirsty followers murdered his enemies.
"Allah is smiling upon us on this day," said Muhammad in the bright sunlight, watching as his licentious minions, having defeated the infidels, repeatedly raped the wives of the Meccans before him.
"He is indeed," replied a pleased Abu, sounds of revelry and voices of screaming women filling the air.While greedy freebooters looted the Meccan treasury in the name of Allah, an orgy of drunken lasciviousness occurred as other Muslims celebrated their victory. Standing on the Kaaba during the festivities, Muhammad gave a sermon, declaring to his followers that they could do anything they wished to survivors who refused to embrace Islam.
A cadre of lustful perverts and eager pedophiles smiled in delight at the Prophet's welcome words, leaving the Kaaba at once in search of victims. Several days passed, the cries of the defiled diminishing as the army of Islam, having grown tired from the orgy, passed out from drunkenness. Hundreds of infidels lay dead in the streets, covered in flies, having died in the most horrific of ways, the women having been raped to death, the bodies of debauched children having fallen into the hands of murderous perverts and pedophiles.

In late afternoon, the Holy Prophet, recovered from a marathon bout of drunken pederasty, roused a snoring Abu, telling him of his plans for the day.
"We must enter and cleanse the Kaaba in the name of Allah, as it is his, and only his, house," he declared while scratching his posterior, an obedient Abu forcing the locked door down.Over a thousand gold, silver and alabaster idols of the gods of Mecca were contained therein; each sitting in ornate nooks prepared for them.
"Obscene infidels!" exclaimed an angered Muhammad,
"There is no god but Allah the Pig!"
"What shall we do Prophet?" asked the oaf, awaiting further orders.
"We must destroy them!" declared Muhammad, the Holy Prophet and Abu exhausting themselves smashing the pagan idols over the next hours.A breathless Abu looked about, every idol in the Kaaba having been destroyed. Searching in vain for the idol of a pig, he feared that he or Muhammad might have accidentally destroyed Allah in their frenzy of destruction. Composing himself, he asked, "Where is Allah?"Here he is oaf, said a smiling Muhammad, pointing to a large black stone sitting on the floor of the Kaaba, surrounded by the remains of destroyed idols.
"Allah is a rock, I thought you said he was a pig," said Abu, looking to the insane Prophet.
"Allah's spirit dwells within this stone, when one touches it, they can feel his awesome power."
"It feels like a cold rock to me," replied a frowning Abu after having placed hands upon it. All this effort and carnage for a shapeless boulder? he thought, staring at Muhammad as though he were a madman.

1 comment:

fido said...

the oaf would be the real prophet, Inshallah.