You may be an Islamophobe if...

(1) You refer to the midwinter holiday as 'Christmas'

(2) You save loose change in a p***y-bank

(3) You allow your children to read unexpurgated versions of Winnie the Poo

(4) You doubt whether it's politically correct to stone rape victims

(5) You believe that the earth is round

(6) You think there's something weird about a 50 year old man marrying a six year old girl

(7) Your children have Barbie dolls or Teddy Bears

(8) You object to being a second class citizen in your own country

(9) You fail to celebrate cultural diversity when your daughter is gang-raped for not wearing a headscarf

(10) You think government policy should be determined by your elected representatives rather than a howling mob

(11) You object to your taxes being used to support people who are plotting to kill you (12) You aren't convinced that 'Jihad' means 'Inner Spiritual Struggle'

(13) You don't understand why the Jews must be exterminated

(14) You allow your children to play with LEGO

(15) You aren't married to at least one of your cousins

(16) You sometimes have doubts about BBC reporting

(17) You occasionally wonder what's inside those walking tents

(18) You realise that taqiyya is not a Mexican beverage

(19) You believe moderate Muslims ride unicorns

(20) You don't appreciate the multicultural need for Methodist grandmothers to be body-cavity searched before boarding aircraft

(21) You claim to understand the words "Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them", even though you don't speak Arabic

(22) You object to taxpayers' money being spent for terrorists to hold a festival to commemorate the anniversary of their massacres

(23) You have reservations about ‘faith schools’ where the kids will be taught that you and your family are najis (excrement), at public expense

(24) You don't understand why flying your country's flag has become a hate-crime

(25) You don't appreciate why it is so insensitive and offensive for the police to prevent oppressed minorities venting their frustration by mass murder.

EVALUATING YOUR SCORE How many of the questions did you answer 'YES' ?

On a scale of 0 to 25

0 you are a Dhimmi

1 to 5 you are a Najis Kaffir

6 to 10 you are an Islamophobe

11 to 15 you are a Thought Criminal

16 to 20 you are an Enemy of Allah

21 to 25 you are a Zionist Crusader offspring of pigs and monkeys.

Fatwas are automatically awarded for all scores above 5 Fatwas will been posted in plain brown paper envelopes in a choice of laminated or embossed styles, generously sprinkled with ricin, anthrax, sarin or cobalt-60.

Thanks to Occidental Crusader